a whole new world

ok not really. it's the same world, it only appears new. 

I was six when I got my first pair of glasses and the reason was simple and quite typical for a child, I could not see the blackboard. The teacher had moved me to various desks and finally to one directly in front of the board but it made no difference, the chalk markings resembled nothing close to the letters I knew. Jump ahead many years to only minutes after the Lasik procedure, and though the world appeared hazy and my eyelids quite heavy, I was able to see the expressions on the faces of the surgical team. 30 years of glasses and contacts without which I could never see the expression on someone’s face unless we were nose to nose. Minutes later I was back in an examination room laughing out loud because I was able to see blurred letters on the eye chart; in my world eye charts have been white blurry boxes where letters appear and disappear depending on the whim of the eye doctor! Upon leaving the surgery suite I was asked to look at the clock on the wall and give the time, “um it is 9:05” and we all laughed because the last time I could see the hands or numbers on a clock I couldn’t even tell time!

Each day I marvel at the colors, the textures, the depth, and the detail because each day it all gets a little better. Still, I have fleeting moments of jealousy when I realize how much I missed; how much of the world have I missed because of my poor eyesight I wonder?

Without glasses or contacts I saw a blurry almost fuzzy world, it was full of shadows and shapes, never scary rather somewhat magical. But there was no magic in tripping on a shoe I couldn’t see on the floor or knocking my glasses off the bedside table or dropping a contact in the sink; these were the moments of annoyance that I got used to. I think glasses were helpful initially as a young child, but they were also a hindrance. Children are meant to run and play, they do not want anything impeding their exploration of the world, glasses got in the way. At least without them the world was funny in its misshapenness, but with glasses it was flat and always a little bit out of focus. Not much mind you, but just enough that I would mistake the trajectory of a ball and feel it slam into my head.

It was when my mother began looking into RK surgery for herself that I first considered a life without contacts or glasses. It was almost incomprehensible. My wish on birthday candles, as my pennies flew into fountains, and on cracking wishbones was to be able to see; to see freely without glasses or contacts. As a child I believed in fairies and sprites that lived in the forests and I wanted to believe that wishes, even those made in a dirty decrepit fountain would someday come true. Thanks to Lasik it has.

and now it really does seem like a whole new world.

let's rock!

rocks rocks everywhere. how often do you think about where they came from or how they have formed into the item you see? how about the rocks that look incredibly beautiful underwater but rather plain when dry, do you ever wonder about those? 

Copán, Honduras

i went to a rock & gem show the other day and later visited the local rock museum. display after display of items found near and far, each with a unique history all it's own.

 isn't it amazing what can be created from a rock, stone, clay and dirt?

Nayarit, Mexico

California, USA

Belize

Chicago, Illinois USA

Oaxaca, Mexico

Oregon, USA

San Salvador, El Salvador

a month in review

i am fully aware that i have not posted in almost a month. in fact after making a few attempts and failing miserably to write anything close to a cohesive and relatively interesting posting, i made a conscious decision to not write for a few weeks. of course ideas for blog postings are always bouncing around in my head but the actual ability to put those things on paper was missing. maybe it is that too much was bouncing around in my head, too many thoughts that at the time seemed unrelated and under-whelming.

while i have taken a bit of time for another kind of r&r, the wandering has continued, albeit in a more emotional-spiritual-existential kind of way. it's a funny thing to wander along in a place you think you know and begin to realize that in fact what you know is only partly true. i suppose it is akin to walking along the street you have walked a hundred times and noticing that a building has detailed stonework that is striking and yet you have never noticed it before. it is similar to the moment you hear a story from someone close to you, someone you thought you knew everything about, and you are hearing about something you never knew and you recognize that this thing you didn't know has so much meaning for this other person. and now that you know this story or situation or experience you can't imagine ever not knowing it or understanding the importance of it in this person's life.

so blah blah blah observations on life blah blah blah commentary on the state of the US economy as evidenced by the high unemployment rates and the inability of highly motivated college graduates to find ANY work in most parts of the country blah blah blah thoughts on language acquisition and how much easier learning a third language is as compared to learning the second language blah blah blah yes northern mexico is unsafe but avoiding the whole country seems a bit extreme in my opinion blah blah blah running in a place where running is part of the culture is amazing and enlightening and healing blah blah blah if you haven't seen Forks Over Knives or Life Above All maybe you should but not if you want a summer-feel-good-all-over type of movie blah blah blah...

as always, more to come.

welcome to Crater Lake!

a few pics from one of the most beautiful places on earth...well thats what i think anyway.

wherever i go...

there are power outages and mosquitos. not really a surprise to have power outages up in the mountains though so i will let that one go. mosquitos though...well unless you are new to this blog, you know they are almost at nemesis status in my world.

the mosquitos that mounted this epic battle at Crater Lake have the same determination i have encountered in other climates and regions of the world. an important difference though is that they are slow. yes slow mosquitos. it is not difficult to kill them once you see them. oh and unlike others of their kind, these mosquitos seem kind of fat or maybe even obese.

hmmm...has the "American Obesity Problem" spread to our mosquito population??

small towns and big flags

the Disciple of De-troit (aka the brother) and i meandered through the northernmost parts of California only to find ourselves amused we had entered Oregon; we figured we must have arrived somewhere of note as we saw people across the old highway posing next to a sign (now leaving Oregon or Welcome to California...can't remember which). off of I-5 there is lots 'o land and not much else. small towns (average population 600) crept up on us and we were through them before we thought we entered them. the homes looked lived in, worn by generations of dust and family, while businesses were shuttered or displaying the sign with a clock where the hands are turned to the hours someone was to return. there were pastures of cows roaming freely, farm houses with rickety red barns, and low rolling hills. both of us commented on the similarity to the plains states and the hope of seeing cowboys appearing at the next hilltop. as we drove, lyrics from songs by John Cougar Mellencamp (i know he gave up the 'cougar' but the songs i am referencing were all done by JCM), Bruce Springstein and Bob Dylan played as a soundtrack in my head...i half expected the cast of Footloose to roll up in a caravan to one of the many granaries we passed.

and in the words of the Mover & Shaker, "America!"

driving

lots of driving recently...too much maybe. or maybe i should say it was too much time driving alone. usually i am a fan of driving and road trips, partially because of the time it allows for reflection, but in light of my recent um heartbreak, reflection turned to something less helpful. ah the mind, a wonderfully complicated and unruly beast.

final photos of my time in southern california. loved this surf shop, oh and check out that car!

yes some of these are literally from the road.

yes the surf theme continues.

final pass out of the LA area.

i was able to get out of the LA area only hours before so-called 'carmageddon' began.

this is what the media deemed the weekend when a section of the 405 was shut down for major repairs. for those not familiar with the 405, it is a major artery and typically carries 500,000 cars through the pass that was to be closed. turns out that the weekend was a wild success and the construction crews actually finished the work early!

ch-ch-ch-changes

making a few changes to the blog...bear with me and feel free to offer feedback :-)

a few more things about so cal...

some additional pics of Huntington Beach. firstly, a look at the beach and pier.

this is on the middle of the pier just below one of the enclosed lifeguard towers. just like the trucks in Baywatch huh?

speaking of lifeguards, i learned a bit about them while i spent an afternoon in San Clemente. on average they make about 3800 rescues a year. some of San Clemente's lifeguard alumnus include some of the big names of surfing (John Severson of Surfer magazine, surfboard shaper Mickey Munos, and Bruce Brown the filmaker who made Endless Summer). obviously lots of surf culture and history can be found here- Surfer, Surfing and Longboard magazine are based here, some of the most influential board shapers can be found in the area, and of course many of the best pro surfers grew up on the beaches of San Clemente.

the photo below is from the hill above looking towards the "surfer side" of the beach in San Clemente. a good number of surfers were out this evening and i would guess a third of them were 12-14 year old boys, who were showing off some amazing skills! there is a beautiful running/walking path along the beach that appears to go on for miles. also the Amtrak train (the Surfliner) goes along the coast and passes just below where i took this photo.

this one is from the end of the pier in San Clemente, looking back to the beach. in front of me was someone's fishing gear...lots of people fishing off this pier but i didn't see anyone catch anything when i was there.

maybe my favorite exit from any of the beaches i have ever been to...just so cool.

a special message

to The First Family of Scottsdale, the Diva & Papi, the Mover 'n Shaker of Chicago, the LA Girl, the Father of Who-Knows-How-Many, the Italian, the Cubs Fan, the Rockstar, and my family...thank you all very much for your love, compassion and support.

as i was perusing the seemingly never-ending stations on sirius radio, i ran across a song that contained some lyrics that just kind of stood out...as if they were a bit louder than all the rest in the song and as if they were written for me, in that moment.

you must think i'm strong

to give me what i am going thru

forgive me if i'm wrong

but this looks like more than i can do

on my own

i know i'm not strong enough

to be everything

that i'm supposed to be

i give up

i'm not strong enough

maybe thats the point

to reach the point of giving up

when i am finally at rock bottom

thats when i start looking up

and reaching out

i am living the dream, my dream anyway. but it is a bit complicated sometimes and certainly not always easy for those closest to me seeing as i am not around or even accessible at times. despite this fact, i receive incredible support both in good times and bad for which i greatly appreciate and am forever grateful.