a whole new world

ok not really. it's the same world, it only appears new. 

I was six when I got my first pair of glasses and the reason was simple and quite typical for a child, I could not see the blackboard. The teacher had moved me to various desks and finally to one directly in front of the board but it made no difference, the chalk markings resembled nothing close to the letters I knew. Jump ahead many years to only minutes after the Lasik procedure, and though the world appeared hazy and my eyelids quite heavy, I was able to see the expressions on the faces of the surgical team. 30 years of glasses and contacts without which I could never see the expression on someone’s face unless we were nose to nose. Minutes later I was back in an examination room laughing out loud because I was able to see blurred letters on the eye chart; in my world eye charts have been white blurry boxes where letters appear and disappear depending on the whim of the eye doctor! Upon leaving the surgery suite I was asked to look at the clock on the wall and give the time, “um it is 9:05” and we all laughed because the last time I could see the hands or numbers on a clock I couldn’t even tell time!

Each day I marvel at the colors, the textures, the depth, and the detail because each day it all gets a little better. Still, I have fleeting moments of jealousy when I realize how much I missed; how much of the world have I missed because of my poor eyesight I wonder?

Without glasses or contacts I saw a blurry almost fuzzy world, it was full of shadows and shapes, never scary rather somewhat magical. But there was no magic in tripping on a shoe I couldn’t see on the floor or knocking my glasses off the bedside table or dropping a contact in the sink; these were the moments of annoyance that I got used to. I think glasses were helpful initially as a young child, but they were also a hindrance. Children are meant to run and play, they do not want anything impeding their exploration of the world, glasses got in the way. At least without them the world was funny in its misshapenness, but with glasses it was flat and always a little bit out of focus. Not much mind you, but just enough that I would mistake the trajectory of a ball and feel it slam into my head.

It was when my mother began looking into RK surgery for herself that I first considered a life without contacts or glasses. It was almost incomprehensible. My wish on birthday candles, as my pennies flew into fountains, and on cracking wishbones was to be able to see; to see freely without glasses or contacts. As a child I believed in fairies and sprites that lived in the forests and I wanted to believe that wishes, even those made in a dirty decrepit fountain would someday come true. Thanks to Lasik it has.

and now it really does seem like a whole new world.